A Tribute to Cameron

I’ve been thinking a lot these past weeks about families, and I’d like to tell you about Cameron.

On April 18, right before my family and I were headed to church, we received word that my nephew had been rushed to the hospital, and from there lifted by medical helicopter to Primary Children’s Medical Center, after an accidental overdose of oxycontin.

He died on April 20.

We went to his funeral on April 26, and I shed a lot of tears that day. Mostly because I miss him. He was the oldest child of my oldest sister, the boy who made me an aunt while I was still in high school.

Cameron was to turn 16 on May 5.

Yes, Cameron had his faults. Yes, it is a very sad end to a very promising life. It was a mistake that took him from us so early. If he were here, he’d probably say “Oops,” and then apologize for not realizing what impact his mistake would have on others.

I have thought about him and his life quite frequently for the past weeks. Just little snippets of his life, which certainly don’t tell the whole story, but are a small part of him that I got to share.

Like the ride I gave him and his mom – I don’t even know where we were going – but he had to sit in the back seat and didn’t want to (there were airbags in the front seat). Kristie (my sister) sat in the back with him and sang songs – Primary songs and silly songs like “Winney the Pooh.”

I remember the day he learned – really – how to walk and how excited he was to get moving. (He was all sweaty from his efforts to push himself up off the floor.) He never looked back.

He had such a calm and happy personality. When he got a little older and the hairstylist butchered his hair, while Kristie was telling us about it and how disappointed she was, Cameron calmly piped up, “But it will grow back.”

Just last summer, I remember Cameron playing a game with Caitlyn and Courtney where he was just teasing them and I’m not sure what else, but it involved a lot of giggling and protestations of “Stop!” accompanied by many more giggles. Courtney and Caitlyn gave as good as they got, but it was fun to see the three of them have a good time together. They were all laughing and playing around.

At a later date, I remember Cameron helping his littlest sister, Callie, get ready to go home from a family gathering. He was so sweet and kind and I could tell that he cared a lot for his little sister. I will never forget the tone of his voice, a little higher than he normally talked, gently encouraging her to get her shoes and jacket on so they could go out to the car and go home. He then did the same for Jo Jo (Carlie Jo).

I remember him sprawling on my mom and dad’s loveseat, filling it up and over with his long legs and tall frame, while he texted his friends or listened to music at a family party.

I remember his concern for his sisters. He spent most of his time the last time we went to the zoo looking for Courtney and Caitlyn, who had gotten separated from the group. He was being a good brother and wanted to help.

I have a picture on my fridge of Cameron gently holding a baby Callie, with Carlie Jo standing next to him. Cameron’s cousins and Caitlyn were around him, and he has just a little smile on his face. This is how I remember him. A kid who didn’t express it in so many words, at least not around me, but showed it in his actions that he had a big heart and loved his family – very much.

I guess I write this down now because I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget my sweet giant of a nephew.

Today was another reminder. We had a birthday celebration for my brother (postponed from April), and it was bittersweet. We should have been celebrating Cameron’s birthday today (his birthday is on Wednesday). He should have been there with us. And I felt his absence. But at the same time, I treasured the time I spent today with my extended family. And I treasure the memories I have of Cameron.

Gentle giant. That’s how my sister has described him on many occasions. He wasn’t even 16 yet and he was nearing 6 feet (and maybe already had surpassed it). And yet from him there was a large heart. I never heard him speak ill of anyone. He was compassionate. What a sweetheart.

As much as I miss my nephew, I know his family – he has four younger sisters – will miss him more. But I also know that this won’t be the last time that I see him. And that is where I have to say that I am grateful for temples and promises that mean that I can and will see him again.

And when I do, Cam, I’ll give you a big hug. Love you.

If you’d like to read more about Cameron, I invite you to visit my sister’s blog.